India’s Daughter is the story of the gang rape and murder of a young woman that shocked the world and sparked riots and protests all over India. Grieving parents and one of the rapists tell the story of the night six men brutally assaulted 23 year old medical student, Jyoti Singh while driving around Delhi, India's Capital, in a bus.


"So many of our people grow up thinking that a girl is less important than a boy is. Because she's less important you can do what you like with her."
-Sheila Dixit, DELHI Chief Minister (1998-2013)
On December 16, 2012 Jyoti and a male friend boarded a private bus to return home after going to a movie. The six men on the bus objected to a girl and unrelated boy being out alone and in order to teach them a lesson they beat her friend unconscious and brutally assaulted and gang raped her for almost an hour as the bus rode round and round the highways, before throwing them out of the bus and into a ditch. Against all odds, Jyoti survived two weeks but died after multiple surgeries.
-Badri Singh

From birth Jyoti's parents considered her a gift, a light in their lives. When their daughter decided she wanted to be a doctor, her parents, against the wishes of their extended family, sold their ancestral lands to send their girl to medical school. After working night shifts at a call centre, and sleeping just three hours a night for four years Jyoti had just finished her final exams when her evening out turned fatal.

The brutal and brazen crime inspired Indians to take to the streets for over a month and protest their country's tragic problem of systemic violence against women. Ordinary men and women withstood tear gas, water cannons and police brutality to demand changes in India's attitudes towards women. The collective outrage has led to changes in law and the first glimmers of change in a deeply ingrained mindset.

India’s Daughter also examines the values and mindsets of the rapists whom the filmmakers had exclusive and unprecedented access to interview between their conviction and expected hanging. It exposes a skewed patriarchal society in which an institutionalized view of women as second-class, and even undesirable, citizens leads to such heinous crimes against women. It makes an impassioned plea for change and reveals the deadly price one young woman and her family have paid for the continuing tragedy of violence against women.

"Our daughter's name is Jyoti Singh. In death she has lit a torch...she posed a question. What is the meaning of 'a woman?' I wish that whatever darkness there is in the world should be dispelled by this light." -Badri Singh

India's Daughter is being aired around the world to coincide with International Women's Day (March 8) and will be shown in more than 15 countries around the world. It is a UK-India co-production of Assassin Films and Tathagat Films.

Before the film was even released it has been banned in India and has caused much upheaval. I encourage you take part in this important issue.
God, being the excellent creator of mankind, crafted a beautiful being which is capable of offering more sacrifices and compromises, more than you can imagine, in the name of a woman. Its very rightly stated that if for their dear and loved ones a woman can sacrifice to the utmost limit and fight against all the odds to bring comfort to the people they care about.
happy women's day, women, gift, celebration, what to get her

She has been always been there for us, irrespective of the relation they carry, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a mother, a sister, a friend. And its time for us to repay the unplayable with much gratitude and love, allowing them to rest for at least one day.

March 8th is celebrated as International Women's Day universally and on this we simply celebrate womanhood.



We usually wish to make this one day really special for them and greet her for being herself all year round without a single day leave or relaxation from her duties and familial responsibilities.
To honor this fact, we share a token of love through the form of gifts and flowers.

March, being the month of care, love and affection, reflects this event perfectly well. Let your mother or sister, or daughter know that she is special and treat her the way she deserves, which mustn't be less than a princess. God create women to face the circumstances which can never be handled by man or to take responsibilities of giving rise to new generation by tolerating unimaginable amount of pain and exertion. Thus, in every respect this is the day when you can honor by either sending floral gifts or itemized ones.
Who doesn't like surprises? Surprises please everyone and nothing can beat that experience. We should take this opportunity to clearly express our gratitude and love for them in our life. They have achieved a lot both in the work and home front, and thus don't miss this day to express how glad you are to have a woman in your life.
For the time first time, Filson has introduced a collection of watches with the help of Detroit-based Shinola. Made to enhance the outdoor enthusiasts’ lifestyle, above all else, these timepieces are rugged and durable. There are two case designs and 25 different styles in the Filson watch collection, all of which are made in Detroit. The Mackinaw Field watch comes in both a three-hand and chronograph version, while the Journeyman is available as a GMT and chronograph with a World-Timer feature on either. All pieces feature a screw-down crown and sapphire crystal. If these options are enough, you can customize the look further with a wide range of strap options. Options include Bridle Leather and Dry Tin Cloth as well as nylon, rubber, and Horween leather. Filson watches will retail between $600 and $1,100 USD, with availability starting in March 2015 through Filson stores, filson.com, and select retailers. Can’t wait? Click here to pre-order now

mophie has announced their juice pack line for the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus. The protective battery cases come in a few variations, with the juice pack air for iPhone 6 delivering more 100% extra battery, juice pack plus for iPhone 6 packing 120% more battery, and the juice pack for iPhone 6 Plus provided more than 60% reserve. The figures are tremendous and will give users up to 17 more hours of talk time, up to 12 more hours of web browsing, up to 13 more hours of video playback, and up to 60 more hours of music playback. Beyond extended use, each case provides high-impact protection. Quick-charge and pass-through technology are incorporated into each model, so users can charge and sync their phone simultaneously and at a much faster rate. The mophie juice pack line for iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus is now available on Amazon:

With this year’s SIHH just weeks away, IWC is getting ahead of the wave by updating its Portuguese family of watches with this the Portuguese Yacht Club Chono. It’s powered by the same self-winding in-house movement from previous iterations while other details include the chrono’s flyback function and 68-hour power reserve. There’s also a unique chronograph display that uses one dial to indicate both elapsed hours and minutes. One of the biggest changes comes from IWC taking note of comments from potential buyers who wanted a slightly smaller version of the sportiest watch in the Portuguese lineup. The case diameter drops here just a bit from 45.4 to 43.5 mm. The original Portugieser came out in 1939, so it’s only right we see this unveil on its 75th anniversary. The IWC Portuguese Yacht Club Chrono comes with a black rubber strap and buckle that matches the case material. Look for it to release in the weeks ahead.
Is this real? Yep. Introducing the Blackberry Classic smartphone, a return to the days pre-iPhone and Android. If you still daydream about having a physical keyboard then you’ll be happy to hear that Blackberry’s bringing this design back with a 3.5″ screen that runs Blackberry 10 OS. Email’s quicker than ever and there’s an 8 megapixel camera and 16GB of internal flash storage onboard as well. Beyond getting BBM again, you’ll also have the ability to install Android and Blackberry apps on this device. Good play, Blackberry, good play. The Blackberry Classic is available unlocked through BlackBerry and Amazon’s online stores for $449. Local carriers worldwide have already picked up the device while Verizon and AT&T are confirmed to be jumping on board in 2015.
See Image below for details.

Designed by British designer Jake Phipps, this quirky lamp is inspired by a classic British cultural icon, the Bowler Hat. The Jeeves Lamp is made with an authentic bowler hat that is lined with gold aluminum to reflect light optimally, and is adjustable so you can tip your hat. A classic statement piece that ads a gentle welcoming glow which is perfect for any room.

Available for purchase. For more details, click on the image below.
If you’ve got a question that needs the female treatment, chances are you’re not the only one who wants to ask it. Here's one such example...


Hi Author,

I just turned 44 a few days ago, and have worked hard over the last year to lose 40 pounds. Along with remaking my body, I decided that I was tired of being clean shaven, and started to wear a little bit of facial hair. Think Orlando Bloom in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. A thinner mustache, a bit of chin hair, and that’s it.

I’m currently single and ready to date, but I’m not sure if facial hair will be a turn off? Especially something that’s a bit more purposeful & groomed like this, instead of just scruff?

I’ve been told I actually look OLDER without a beard. But maybe that’s because I’ve gone to the trouble of coloring my facial hair, since my beard has started to come in gray. Yet the hair on the top of my head has stayed youthful looking.

Is this going to be a deal breaker for any potential dates?

- Henry


Hi Henry,

Congrats on losing weight and remaking your look. Way to take a bit of a risk with the facial hair–nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Facial hair is not an automatic turn off, not at all. Women like it, or they don’t, but there’s no rule for all women everywhere. We’re a varied bunch. Most women would say they like facial hair when it looks good. Real helpful, right?

Facial hair is like man-cardigans, bow ties, and suspenders–they flatter and look at home on some people, and on others, not so much. And yes, there are instances when men look better with facial hair. If you have a weak chin, or a bit of flab around the jawline, facial hair can mask it, or give your face the appearance of stronger structure. And some faces just look better with hair. I’ve always thought Javier Bardem looked much handsomer with facial hair than without it.

On the other hand, facial hair can make you look less attractive if it grows in patchy and uneven. It can make you look unkempt if it’s not meticulously groomed. And for some men, it just doesn’t look great with their bone structure, or it hides their good features. Casey Affleck, for instance, has a beard that grows in too patchy; it makes him look kind of skeevy. Brad Pitt is also not best served with facial hair mainly because, if you’ve got that face, why hide it under hair?

Then there are the bastards who look good, facial hair or not, and can go from swarthy to clean-shaven back to hirsute, and collect a barrage of compliments along the way. George Clooney. That man. Full grey beard, little bit o’ scruff, smooth as a baby’s bottom. He looks good every which way.

Because you and I have never had the pleasure of meeting, I can’t tell you which camp you fall into, but it sounds like you’ve gotten feedback (from more than one person? On separate occasions?) that you look great with facial hair. Sounds promising. Keep it for awhile and see what it does for your dating life. The good thing about hair is you can always shave it off, and then grow it back again. Don’t worry that being purposeful with your grooming is a bad thing, it’s not. Yes, sometimes casual scruff is sexy (George!)…but sometimes it’s reminiscent of Ethan Hawke, circa 1994. I mean, Reality Bites is a classic, but that anemic tufting has to go.

-Author


Got something brewing in your life?



We've all been there. Staring at Pinterest with a glass of wine, browsing aimlessly through photos of models, bloggers, and celebrities. Subconsciously adding pin after pin to that "Trends I Wish I Could Pull Off" board. Let me guess: You were previously under the impression that "overalls" and "graphic tees" fell under that category too, right? Wrong!

I knew there was something special about these two items that we haven't worn in years.

GRAPHIC TEES

When I first got wind that graphic tees were making a victory lap of sorts, I was taken back to the good ole' days to say the least. You mean, cheesy sayings and cartoons, galore? Luckily, that’s not the case this time around. Today's graphic tees come complete with punchy imagery or cheeky one-liners we just can't resist. They're that perfect twist to any outfit — whether you're dressing up or down!

How to style it: Going for a dressy-casual look.In my mind, a drapey pant of black and white paired with a red heel is the way to go. The loose fitting pants balanced the tied-up tee perfectly, which I would absolutely suggest to avoid looking like, you know... a tent. Top it off with statement jewelry: a chunky necklace with pearls, drop earrings and a layered bracelet. This bold look is perfect for girls’ night, or even a casual office setting!

OVERALLS

Put 'er there, sister: Truth be told, overalls have come a long way since the MK&A days. I haven’t worn overalls since I was a kid. Even then, I never had shortalls in the rotation. Better late than never right? Incredibly versatile for warm weather, they too can easily be dressed up or down with the right accessories! I’m also looking forward to styling these in fall. Some thick tights, booties, long sleeve top and chunky scarf? I’m ready for you!

How to style them: For a dressy day look (perfect for a brunch date!), pair your shortalls with a light, floral tee and strappy wedges. Bright lips and sweet, simple jewelry are all you need to complete your look. Patio in your future? Grab your favorite wide-brimmed topper! For night, just swap those florals for a slinky, dark blouse, and a pair of booties!
Will you put either of these trends to the test?

Caught that dreadful cold that's being passed around? Even though you may feel sick, these tips will help you look great.

We're right in the middle of flu season and germs are being passed around like hot cakes. It happens to all of us. Those mornings you wake up feeling awful because you picked up a cold along with that box of cereal at the grocery store the night before. Your skin is dull, your head is congested, and your eyes—yeah, they're puffy to say the least. We know the feeling. That's why we've gathered these tips for looking great, even when you may feel your worst.

1. Stay hydrated (on the inside and out)
Of course you know how important it is to drink plenty of water every day, but especially when you're under the weather. Just as important is keeping your skin hydrated as well. A rich moisturizer can help restore water in the skin and soothe redness and itching, creating a more vital, energized look. We love the Skinfix Daily Body Lotion because it immediately softens and soothes irritated skin without greasiness. It's made with all natural ingredients like calendula and chamomile extracts, as well as emollient oils of sunflower, jojoba, and grape seed. It works in conjunction with the Skinfix Body Repair Balm, which treats super angry skin with 2% colloidal oatmeal and ultra-rich natural active ingredients. Like the lotion, it's free of fragrances, parabens, and steroids. Apply this balm to a chapped nose or any dry patches of skin, for that matter. It's also the perfect size to tote around, so pack it or the hand cream in your purse before you head out.

2. Don't skimp on tissues
Getting sick is bad enough without having to deal with a sore nose. It might seem obvious, but treating your nose to good, quality tissues is super important. Rough tissues can irritate your nose and surrounding skin and can even cause broken capillaries. They're scent free and cool to the touch, which is incredibly soothing on an irritated nose.

3. Soothe those puffy eyes
We've got a few tricks for soothing the under eye bags and puffy eyes that unwantedly tag along with a cold:
  • Try sleeping with your head elevated on a couple of pillows to drain fluids that have accumulated in the eyes.
  • Applying cold, wet tea bags to your eyes for about 15 minutes will help de-puff and wake up tired eyes.
  • Try storing your favorite eye cream in the fridge. The cool cream will feel refreshing and further help to decrease under eye bags and is formulated with two much needed ingredients when your skin is dehydrated and dull—hyaluronic acid and caffeine. The hyaluronic acid will help infuse the skin with moisture (and keep it there for 24 hours) and the caffeine, as you can imagine, will perk up your peepers.
  • Eye drops—cooling, lubricating ones—are always a yes when feeling sick.

4. Stick with gloss
A pop of color will definitely brighten your look, but stay away from lipstick, as they can be drying on already chapped lips. A lip gloss offers a fresher, more light-reflective look. Find a gloss that's packed with argan oil, vitamin E, and omega 3 to keep lips soft and supple.

5. Bronzer is your best friend
Bronzer can be a lifesaver when you're paler than you ever thought possible. Just a light sweep of a light-reflective bronzer on your cheekbones and forehead can bring life back into skin by giving it a sun-kissed glow. Look for a cream-based product which will look natural on dry, winter skin.

6. Stick to the basics.
Unfortunately, when you're sick isn't the time to try out a new smokey eye or a bright, red lip. Instead, stick to a simple, light makeup routine. A little concealer under the eyes, around the nose, and on any blemishes, plus a sweep of bronzer and mascara is all you need.


Call this post a rant, but I decided it’s high time I wrote this in-your-face article to let people know what they’re doing wrong.

Time and time again I see my friends acting like, well, kids. It baffles my mind to how somebody around my age, can be so insecure that they behave like selfish, needy, erratic and crazy brats.

Life is tough. Life is even unfair, but that doesn’t mean we should keep acting out, believing the world revolves only around us.

My friends, I shouldn’t have to write this, but here are 7 secrets to growing up and maturing into an adult

1) You MUST recognize how you’re coming across and how others perceive you

You have your own thoughts and feelings, but that doesn’t mean people around you think or feel the same way.

So basically, what you say or do has a different meaning to others. It’s important to know how you’re coming across as to others because you don’t want to go downhill and have people judge you and start misunderstanding you to be a selfish person.

Why? Because face it. People are judgmental creatures. Image is important. It’s not going to do you any good if you go down that path of acting your way while entirely coming across as another to others. And yeah, you’ll come across as selfish if you think your way is the only way.

For example, say you’ve had a stressful week at work. You do indeed have the right to whine, rant or complain about it. Do it once, sure, maybe others will think you’re a hard worker. Do it everyday for the week? You’re a whiny brat then, and nobody likes a whiner.

2) Hence, you need to care about what others think too!

Okay I get it. The entire self-help world rages on about not caring about what others think and how that creates an awesome life for you.

But I call a little bullshit on that. To a certain extent, we all do care about others think about us. And how you play with that idea is an art. It’s make the difference between a masterful adult who’s brave enough to lead his life his own way and a stubborn little kid; between the adult who keeps his comments to himself and the kid who is (unknowingly) rude to others and then thinks he’s still right.

Yet, it honestly shouldn’t be that hard.

Care about what others think because you respect others and wish not to harm them. Care because you know others have their own challenges in life and thus the world doesn’t revolve around you. Care because, you care.

Don’t care about what others think because you know it’s just noise trying to drag you down from hitting your own goals and dreams. Don’t care because they’re toxic people. Don’t care because you know you’re own person.

3) Suck it up if it’s just a little pain

Look, this is life. There’re ups and then there’re downs. Not everything goes our way.

And when that happens, it is the adult who accepts it, learns from it, brushes his himself off and move on.

It is the kid who whines, rants and complains loudly about it.

It’s not a big deal if it hurts a little ONLY! So suck it up. It’s not the end of the world and nobody wants to hear it from you more than once.

4) Never hide your pain by trying to hurt others and drag others down

Unfortunately, a lot of people who’re hurting in this world function this way. This is why bullies exist.

I was never really bullied, but I’ve had my fair share of encountering people who thought they could put me down as a way of actually seeking my attention badly. They’d subsequently start justifying why they were acting like jerks and then reveal what their problem was.

So be open about it. A mature adult would be open about his problems and then actively seek the help he needs. A kid would complain, insult and then cry just for the attention.

5) So be vulnerable and learn to apologize

By that extension, an adult would willingly admit that they’re wrong too. An immature person on the other hand would hunt for excuses just to cover up their own mistakes.

Always make amends. Be a man. Be an adult about it. Learn to forgive others too. You’re not always right and you’ve to respect the idea that you screw up and make mistakes too.

Truly, the mark of a real man is one who not only faces those he fears, but also those he has wronged.

6) Never cry for attention on social media

Perhaps I’m a little biased on the way social media works, but I think this has to be said.

An adult seeks feedback on social media. He or she would break out of their comfort zone and expect to be judged as they showcase their work, art or opinion.

If it’s anything less than that, then you’re just crying for attention and seeking weak validation through the currency of likes, shares or comments. This is when you post some passive aggressive status that is vague in its meaning altogether. This is when you feel good because you hear what you want to hear from your friends, the ones who are too nice to tell you what you NEED to hear instead.

Then you call it a day and sweep your problems under the digital rug.

That’s what kids do. Don’t expect to grow up at all if you’re addicted to this.

7) Act and don’t act your age

Ahh. Another idea the self-help world has put on a pedestal, namely, that age is just a number and we should do whatever we want regardless of how old we are.

But honestly, how effective is that? Can we do that for every second in our lives?

Of course not. The world will be a crappier place overnight if adults refuse to act like adults and then start dumping all their responsibilities.

So like not caring about what others think, you’ve to play with this carefully.

Act your age because you need to be responsible and retain accountability in your life, especially if there’re people depending on you. Act your age so you can take charge and help those younger than you.

Yet, shed the ideas around what is expected of your age! Balance it out and start braving life by doing what you really want. Heck, help those older than you too.

Live a fulfilling life yourself. It’s very possible to do that without shirking your responsibilities.

Okay. Rant over! Help me share this if you know of friends who need to grow up!

“Turn your face to the sun and let the shadows fall behind you” – Maori Proverb

Highs and lows are a part of life. There comes a time in every person’s life when all hope seems lost. You may feel dejected and sad. However, the key to overcoming these times with a smile is not letting these affect you negatively. Use these difficult times as a learning experience, and try to get through them. You might feel hurt, but that is no reason to stop living.

Facing problems and heartaches are an inevitable part of life. In order to come out unscathed from such times, there are a few things you should do. Following are some of the things you can do to overcome the hopelessness.

This Too Shall Pass
“Sun emerges in the morning after a dark night” – Anonymous

Times may be tough now, but they are not going to last forever. Things will change and for the better. Keep reminding yourself that this is a phase and it will pass eventually. You might be dealing with family issues, or problems related to work, or maybe going through a rough time in your relationship. No matter what the problem is, it will pass, and you will look back at these times, and smile, remembering the lessons they taught you. So keep reminding yourself that these bad times aren’t here to stay. You will smile again. You will laugh again. You will be happy again. And you will achieve your dream.
 
Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years
The problems you are facing today may seem like huge problems at the moment, but a few years from now, they won’t matter. You will look back at these times, and laugh at how silly these problems were. Or you will be thankful to God, for giving you a chance to come out stronger than ever before. Whatever is happening, keep reminding yourself that this holds a small percentage in your entire life. Therefore, rather than feeling down, pull yourself up and out of the darkness.

Bad times have a habit of making us feel depressed. You might feel that there is no hope right now, but believe that you have the power to change your life. Visualize that you are changing your life, and take steps to make that vision a reality.

PAIN IS PART OF GROWING
Life is full of beautiful moments, and the only way for us to realize that is if we go through difficult times. Pain is a part of growing, and it makes you stronger. Remember, when you were first learning to ride a bike, and fell down multiple times? You might have scraped your knee or injured yourself in the process. But you kept getting right back up. Why was that? Because you knew that you had to endure that pain, for the end result was worth it. And then you got up, sat yourself on your bike, placed your foot on the pedal, and off you went on a smooth journey. You had overcome that pain and learned something invaluable from the experience.

These tough times are exactly the same. Once they are over, you will realize the importance of the things you have learned. And then you will be grateful for having had the chance to grow into a beautiful and strong person.
 
OTHER PEOPLE’S NEGATIVITY IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM
You must have heard the proverb,

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

Difficult times are the same. However, during these difficult times, you will come across many people, who will let you down. Troubled times show, who your true friends are. If you are surrounded by negative people, then it is better to be without company for a while. Negativity will only make you feel worse. Try to be friends with people who lift your spirits, when everything seems to be going downhill. If you feel worse by being in someone’s company, then stop hanging out with them. It’s time to put your foot down and let them know you will not take their negativity any longer.

It is important to look at the beauty of life. You may be facing troubled times now, but life wasn’t always this way. Keep reminding yourself of the happy days you experienced, and look forward to a better future.
 
There Are No Highs without Lows
Remember, things never remain the same. The world is in an ever-changing loop. The only thing constant is “change.” Life is not a bed of roses. Things do not always go your way. At times, you will face disastrous days, while at others the sun will shine bright and new, with everything going your way.

When life is better, we have high expectations. The higher our expectations, the harder we fall when things do not work out. Therefore, it is better to always be prepared for the low times. Similarly, when the low times are over, good times will begin again. You might consider the times you are experiencing right now as the lowest point of your life. While for others, the same time may be the highest.

Therefore, always be grateful for all the blessings you have. And smile, for life is short, and happy moments are short lived. Make the most of your experiences. Keep reminding yourself that the sun will emerge and light will shine upon you once more.

These are five of the most important things you should remember, every time you feel down. Things may seem to be going against your wishes right now, but in time you will appreciate how everything turned out. Trust yourself and keep striving for the future. It will all be worth it in the end.

I’m curious – what’s the number one way that you have turned a challenging situation around in your own life?

If you have any extra ideas or questions on the topic please share them with me in the comment section below.

All the best,
When you get home at the end of the day hungry, you've got a choice: make dinner or order take-out. But a new video-based cooking site is promising that you can whip up easy, guy-friendly meals in less time than it takes to have a pizza delivered. Blade & Skillet is the brainchild of Toronto-based food lover Dorian Burns-Coyne, who quit his job in advertising to launch the handsomely designed and utilitarian resource. "It really stemmed from my own personal frustrations of coming home after a long day and having to sift through multiple cooking sites to find something that worked for me," he says. "Everything targets the 35-55 year old mom, cooking 4-6 servings, with a long list of ingredients and hardware I just didn't have." So he started refining recipes down to their core, cutting out what wasn't needed and improvising with the equipment he had—namely a good chef's knife and a cast iron skillet.
With those two kitchen workhorses, he started whipping up meals and testing them out on friends, roommates and dates. Pulling in the connections he made in the ad biz, Burns-Coyne assembled a crack team of art directors and film crews to produce the easy-to-follow three-minute videos. The recipes themselves are simple suppers for one or two that don't demand exact measurements—a handful of this, a spoonful of that or a few glugs of oil—and most take less than 30 minutes from start to finish. "Simplicity was key," he says. "We see that as a huge differentiator for us, as the site itself gives you a much more pleasant experience than say a YouTube video riddled with ads." We also found that the site's minimalist design works particularly well on your smartphone, which makes for effortless referencing while you cook.
There’s a scene at the beginning of The Bourne Identity where the film’s protagonist is sitting in a diner, trying to figure out who he is and why he has a bunch of passports and a gun stashed in a safety deposit box. Bourne also notices that he, well, notices things that other people don’t.

That superhuman ability to observe his surroundings and make detailed assessments about his environment? It’s not just a trait of top secret operatives; it’s a skill known as situational awareness, and you can possess it too.

As the names implies, situational awareness is simply knowing what’s going on around you. It sounds easy in principle, but in reality requires much practice. And while it is taught to soldiers, law enforcement officers, and yes, government-trained assassins, it’s an important skill for civilians to learn as well. In a dangerous situation, being aware of a threat even seconds before everyone else can keep you and your loved ones safe.

But it’s also a skill that can and should be developed for reasons outside of personal defense and safety. Situational awareness is really just another word for mindfulness, and developing mine has made me more cognizant of what’s going on around me and more present in my daily activities, which in turn has helped me make better decisions in all aspects of my life.

I’ve spent months researching and talking to experts in the tactical field about the nature of situational awareness, and below you’ll find one of the most complete primers out there on how to gain this important skill. While the focus is primarily on developing your situational awareness to prevent or survive a violent attack, the principles discussed can also help hone your powers of observation in all areas of your life.

How to Develop Situational Awareness

Many of the resources out there on situational awareness say it can be cultivated by generally keeping tabs on your surroundings — “checking your six” and “keeping your back to the wall.”

This definition isn’t wrong. That’s exactly what situational awareness is: knowing what’s going on by scanning your environment. But I always found this explanation lacking. What exactly am I looking for? How do I know if I’m paying attention to the right things? Are there behaviors or warning signs of an imminent threat that I should know about?

Today we’re going to start by discussing the general principles of increasing your observational abilities, and then dive deeper into situational awareness itself to answer these important questions.

Observe + Orient = Situational Awareness

The thing that helped me finally understand situational awareness was framing it within the OODA Loop. For those of you who haven’t read my in-depth article on this important cognitive tool, here’s the CliffsNotes version:

The OODA Loop is a learning system and decision-making process that was first laid out by Air Force fighter pilot and military strategist John Boyd. The four steps of the OODA Loop are Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. In a head-to-head competition, like air-to-air combat, a violent confrontation in a parking lot, or even political contests, the person who can cycle through the OODA Loop the fastest wins.

Obviously, the Observe step in the loop is what most people associate situational awareness with.

But it’s the second step in the OODA Loop – Orient — that answered my questions about what developing situational awareness actually involves. Orientation tells us what we should look for when we’re observing, and then puts those observations into context so we know what to do with the information.

So Observe + Orient = Situational Awareness.

But how can we become better observers so that we can improve our situational awareness? And how should we orient ourselves so that we observe the right things and understand the context for what we’re seeing?

Observe: Stay in Condition Yellow

In his seminal book, Principles of Personal Defense, gun-fighting expert Jeff Cooper laid out a color code system to help warriors gauge their mindset for combat scenarios. Each color represents a person’s potential state of awareness and focus:

For optimal situational awareness, Cooper recommends that we always stay in Condition Yellow.

Condition Yellow is best described as “relaxed alert.” There’s no specific threat situation, but you have your head up and you’re taking in your surroundings with all your senses. Most people associate situational awareness with just visual stimulation, but you can also learn a lot about a particular scenario from the sounds (or lack thereof) and even smells in the environment.

Even though your senses are slightly heightened in Condition Yellow, it’s also important to stay relaxed. By adopting a calm demeanor, you won’t bring any unnecessary attention to yourself. If you look antsy and your head is swiveling frantically while you scan your surroundings, people are going to notice you. Additionally, staying relaxed ensures that you maintain an open focus, which allows you to take in more information about what’s going on around you. Research shows that when we get nervous or stressed, our attention narrows, causing us to concentrate on just a few things at a time. A narrow focus can therefore cause us to miss important details in our environment.

Look up from your smartphone, don’t zone out, open your eyes, ears, and nose, and calmly scan your environment to take in what’s going on.

Besides staying in Condition Yellow, here are a few more tips to improve your observational abilities:

Put yourself in a position for optimal observation. To achieve effective situational awareness, you need to be able to observe as much of your surroundings as possible. Positioning yourself in obstructed spots will inhibit the flow of information coming in. For example, something might be in your way that prevents you from seeing a bad guy enter a theater or restaurant. You also don’t have eyeballs in the back of your head, so you can’t see what’s going on behind you.

So whenever you enter an environment, put yourself in a position that will allow you to see as much as you can. My buddy Mike Seeklander at Shooting Performance recommends finding a place where you can view all or most of the exit points, and that allows you to put your back to the wall. This position readies you to make a quick getaway, and eliminates the possibility of failing to see a threat materialize behind you.

Granted, this isn’t possible in all situations. You don’t have much control as to which table a restaurant hostess seats you at on a busy night, and you’d likely get a lot of strange looks if you stood with your back in a corner while you’re waiting in line at Five Guys. So do your best within the given circumstances. In that busy restaurant, you might not have control of your table location, but you can choose which seat you take. Pick the chair that gives you the best view from your table. When you’re standing in line at a fast food restaurant, just nonchalantly look around and take in the scene.

Hone your observation skills by playing the A-Game. Mike plays a game with his kids called the “A-Game,” or Awareness Game, to help them (and himself) strengthen their observational skills. To play, when you go into a business, make note of a few things about your environment: the number of workers behind the counter, the clothing and gender of the person sitting next to you, how many entry/exits there are, etc. When you leave and get into the car to head home, ask your kids questions like “How many workers were behind the counter?” “Was the person sitting next to us a man or a woman?” “What color was his/her shirt?” “How many exits were there?”

It’s fun to play, but more importantly it’s training your kids (and you) to be more mindful of their surroundings.

Master memorization. Another fun activity that will help improve your situational awareness is to practice memorizing things. Bourne knew all the license plate numbers of the cars outside the diner. You can gain this skill by practicing with a deck of cards, or strings of numbers. Here’s a guide on how to gain the ability to memorize anything you want.

Orient: Baselines, Goals, and Action Plans

Being more observant isn’t enough to master situational awareness. You have to know what you’re looking for, and then put that information into context so it has meaning and becomes actionable. That’s where the Orient phase comes into play.

The Orient step provides three things to help us achieve situational awareness: 1) baselines and anomalies for our particular environment, 2) mental models of human behavior we should look for, and 3) plans of action depending on our observations.

Establish a Baseline Wherever You Go

Every environment and person has a baseline. A baseline is what’s “normal” in a given situation, and it will differ from person to person and environment to environment. For example, the baseline at a small coffee shop will usually entail people reading a book or working on their computer or speaking in hushed tones with their friends. The baseline at a rock concert would be loud music and people looking at the stage while either jumping up and down to the music or swaying their bodies to the beat.

We establish baselines so that we can spot anomalies. According to Patrick Van Horne, situational awareness expert, instructor of the Marine Combat Profiling system, and author of Left of Bang, “Anomalies are things that either do not happen and should, or that do happen and shouldn’t.” Anomalies are what direct our attention as we take in our surroundings and what we need to focus on to achieve situational awareness.

So the first step in orienting ourselves is to establish baselines so that we can direct our attention to anomalies. How do we do that on the fly? Van Horne suggests that you mentally ask yourself these questions every time you enter a new environment:
  • Baseline Questions: What’s going on here? What’s the general mood of the place? What’s the “normal” activity that I should expect here? How do most people behave here most of the time?
  • Anomaly Question: What would cause someone or something to stand out?
Behavioral Clusters to Look For

Our inability to pay attention to everything all at once makes it impossible to obtain complete situational awareness. The human mind can only handle so much information at a given time. Thus in the domain of personal safety, where things unfold quickly and seconds are often the difference between life and death, how we direct our attention is paramount.

So we need to focus on a few things at a time that provide the most bang for our attentional buck. And we do that, Van Horne argues, by relying on heuristics. Heuristics are quick and dirty problem-solving and decision-making mental shortcuts our minds use to figure things out when minimal information is available and time is limited. Decisions made from heuristics aren’t always perfect, but in the context of your personal safety, they’re usually good enough.

In Left of Bang, Van Horne lays out six domains of human behavior that Marine Combat Profilers use on the battlefield in order to quickly determine whether someone is a friend or foe. To get an idea of what civilians should look for in everyday situations, I interviewed Van Horne for this article. He told me the most important category of clues is what he calls kinesics, an area of behavior that involves people’s conscious and subconscious body language.

Within the domain of kinesics, three clusters of body language are of particular interest for situational awareness. They are: dominance/submissive behavior, comfortable/uncomfortable behavior, and interested/uninterested behavior.

Dominance/submissive behavior. Generally, most people try to get along with others, so for the most part people act in accommodating and submissive ways. Van Horne writes that dominant behavior “is an expression of the limbic system’s fight response” and often manifests itself in “gestures and postures that make a person look larger to intimidate ‘smaller’ individuals into submission.” Smaller vs. bigger here doesn’t just apply to physical size, however, but also relates to relative positions of power.

Because most people get along to get along, dominant behavior often constitutes an anomaly, and the person displaying it deserves more attention. If someone acts in a pushy, authoritative, or overbearing way, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a threat; context matters. You’d expect a boss to act dominant in relation to their employees and the employees to act submissive to their boss, but seeing extreme dominant behavior exhibited by a customer towards an employee isn’t as common. That’s something to keep an eye on.

Comfortable/uncomfortable behavior. Most people are going to look relatively comfortable in most situations. Think about a bus or a subway ride — passengers generally appear pretty relaxed while they stare out the window or read a book. If someone looks uncomfortable, that’s an anomaly that warrants extra attention, but it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily a threat. They could be distressed because they’re late for work or maybe they just heard some bad news about a relative. Again, it’s just something to keep your eye on.

Van Horne says that a common display of uncomfortable behavior you’ll see from individuals up to no good is that they’re “checking their six.” This is when a person looks over their shoulder to see what’s behind them or generally scans their surroundings. People who are comfortable generally don’t do this because they don’t feel any threat. So if you see a guy looking over his shoulder a lot when he should be standing there aloof, that’s an anomaly that should get your attention.

Now obviously, “checking your six” is something that situationally aware good guys do too. If you’re doing it right, it shouldn’t be noticeable to others, but it takes practice, and some guy with his head on a swivel might still be green. But until you verify that through further observation, be suspicious.

On the flipside, someone acting comfortable when everyone else is uncomfortable would be an anomaly. One of the ways law enforcement was able to identify the Boston Marathon bombers was that they noticed in surveillance footage that the men looked relatively calm while everyone else was running around in a panic. The reason they looked calm was because they knew the explosion was going to happen and thus weren’t surprised by it, while everyone else was caught off guard.

Interested/uninterested behavior. Most people aren’t paying attention to their environment. They’re too caught up in their own thoughts or whatever it is they’re doing. So individuals who are showing interest in a particular person or object that most people wouldn’t be interested in is an anomaly that warrants further observation.

These three body language clusters establish baselines for every situation in which we find ourselves and allow us to direct our limited attention towards things that are potentially more important and/or dangerous. If a person’s behavior across these clusters fits the baseline for that particular circumstance, you can pretty much ignore them. If their behavior doesn’t fit the baseline, they’re an anomaly and you should observe them more closely.

Other Behavioral Threat Indicators

Besides the above three kinesic clusters, Marine Combat Profilers are taught to look out for a couple other behaviors that could apply to civilian situations as well:

Shifty hands. Military and law enforcement officers typically check the hands first on any person with which they’re engaging. This is for two reasons. First, “checking the hands of a person ensures that the person is not holding a weapon and is not preparing to strike,” writes Van Horne. Second, hands often telegraph hidden nefarious intentions. People who are concealing something they don’t want discovered, like a gun, knife, or stolen object, “will often touch or pat that area on the body where that object is concealed, as if to ensure the object has not been lost or is still hidden from view.”

“Acting Natural.” It’s difficult to “act natural” when you’re not completely focused on whatever it is you’re really supposed to be doing. People “acting natural” will appear distracted and over- or under-exaggerate their movements. Insurgents in Afghanistan will often try to act like farmers, when they’re in fact attempting to collect information on U.S. military patrols. Marine Combat Profilers are trained to look for these “farmers” who appear to be trying too hard.

Have a Plan of Action Based on What You Observe

You visit your favorite coffee shop and a bad guy with a gun decides to drop in as well. But because you’ve followed the principles above, you’re the first to see him as a threat. Great. But what are you going to do about it? Seconds matter here. You don’t have time to formulate a well-thought-out plan. What’s more, the stress of the event will muddle your thinking and decision-making.

In addition to asking yourself the baseline and anomaly questions every time you enter an environment, Van Horne suggests you ask yourself a third question: “What would I do if I saw an anomaly?” In other words, come up with an action plan.

So let’s go back to the coffee shop example. Let’s say the anomaly for which you want to create an action plan is “guy comes in with a gun.” The best course of action in this scenario depends on a few things. And knowing what those few things are requires you to be situationally aware. If the robber came in from the front door and you’re near the rear exit, your best action would be to book it out the back door right away. On the other hand, if he entered through the back exit near you, according to the Department of Homeland Security, your best action would be to immediately close the gap between him and you and incapacitate him.

Establish baselines. Look for anomalies. Have a plan.

That’s what situational awareness comes down to.

Situational Awareness as a Preventive Tactic

Animals are creatures of opportunity. They’ll typically only attack another creature if they look vulnerable. Lions will go after younger, sicker, or older gazelles because they’re easier to catch. The same goes with humans. Criminals are typically going to go after a person who looks vulnerable, whether the victim is physically weaker or will simply be easy to catch off guard.

Practicing situational awareness goes a long way in keeping you from appearing like an easy target. When you’re out and about, look alert. Get your nose out of your smartphone. When you’re walking back to your car at night, have your keys at the ready and constantly scan your surroundings. The less vulnerable you look, the less likely someone is going to mess with you.

Here’s another tip on not looking like a victim, from the guys at Sage Dynamics: Always keep a tactical flashlight on you and bust it out at nighttime. Having a light allows you to better observe in the darkness, but it can also act as a deterrent to would-be bad guys. Because law enforcement officers are usually the only ones shining flashlights down alleys and under cars, if you’re shining your light as you walk to your destination or back to your car, the bad guys are probably going to think you’re a cop and will likely just leave you alone. If worst comes to worst and you do end up getting jumped, you can use the tactical flashlight as a defensive tool by blinding your would-be attacker with the bright beam or even hitting him with the beveled edge that’s often built into the handle.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Situational awareness is a mindset that you have to purposefully cultivate. You want to get to the point that it’s just something you do without having to think about it. To get to that point, you have to practice it regularly. Starting today, consciously remind yourself to look for entry/exit points whenever you enter a new building. Start observing people and establishing baselines and generating possible anomalies while you’re at work, at the gym, or on a date. And then start coming up with action plans on what you would do in that specific situation if you see a possible threat. Don’t be paranoid, just mindful. Do that day in and day out, and situational awareness won’t be something you have to intentionally think about, just something you do naturally. And not fake farmer natural, but Jason Bourne natural.

Until next time, keep your head on a swivel, check your six, and keep your back to the wall.

Oh, and stay manly!





this article was borrowed from 'artofmanliness', you can read the original article here: Link
...because sometimes it's OK to leave the red lipstick at home.

This romantic holiday is a good excuse to have fun with your makeup, whether it's a girls night out or a charming dinner with your special someone. Shades of red and pink are almost always the usual colors for Valentine’s Day; but remember, your makeup doesn't have to be this bold! Today Chicago bloggers Kaleigh Glaza and Ali Shelton from Lux and Concord show us how to keep makeup subtle and polished for any Valentine’s Day plans.


1. Keep a clean palette

Start with a basic base in terms of foundation and cover-up. Make your eyes and lips (our most alluring features!) the centerpiece of your look and just put on the bare minimum. Start off simple to even out your skin tone and cover up any pesky blemishes. Our current light coverage foundation favorites are: bareMinerals bareSkin Pure Brightening Serum Foundation and the gloMinerals Luxe Liquid Foundation(which gives a lit-from-within glow, especially when applied with the Luxe Foundation Brush.



2. Add soft intensity

A smoky eye is the perfect beauty look for Valentine’s Day, adding just the right amount of drama. But do not go overboard with dark hues! Instead, stick to a neutral palette of gold, light brown, and nude colors that allow your eyes to be the focal point. First, even out your lid color with a light shade, like found in this All About Shadow duo in "Buttered Toast" from Clinique. Then, add some intensity! Use a palette with warm, metallic nudes, like this Milani palette (currently loving!). Play with colors to figure out what looks best for your eye color and have fun with a little metallic! Tip: Use a q-tip or your fingers to blend the colors.

 



3. Finish off the eyes

Complete your smoky eye with a thin layer of eyeliner from Cate McNabb. This applicator makes it simple to get a clean line. Apply short strokes at the base of the lashes until you achieve your desired effect. Remember, you can extend the liner further out for a cat eye look. Add a few layers of mascara from Cate McNabb or another favorite from MAKE (or a little of both!) to finish it off. We also love the Tarte Lights, Cameras, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara and the Laura Mercier Full Blown Lash Volume Building Supreme Mascara.


4. Keep it rosy

There is a time and a place for bronzer, but Valentine’s Day is all about a rosy flush! Apply just a hint of blush in a circular motion on the apples of your cheeks. The Dream Bouncy Blush from Maybelline in "Fresh Pink" is easy to apply with fingertips and will last the whole night.



5. Pucker up

A bold, red lip is a classic romantic look for this holiday, but sometimes subtlety is better. We love pairing a smoky eye with a paler, pink lip and just a hint of gloss. This tinted Clinique Chubby Stick Moisturizing Balm in "Roomiest Rose" lays a nice base. Then top it off with this Revlon Super Lustrous lip-gloss for the perfect finishing touch.



That's it! Gorgeous!