Avoid Rejection

 

 One of the most important rules of persuasion (especially in sales) is that you have to be careful how you ask for things. You have to put more thought into how you ask questions of people.

For example, imagine what happens when you ask a woman this:

"Would you like to go out on a date with me sometime this week?"

First of all, you're giving her a yes/no question. Very bad.

You're going to have to learn to guide people to the decisions that they want to make, and that you want them to make. 

Stop assuming that life is going to give to you without a little mental effort on your part. The only things that separate the winners from the losers in life are the amount of effort they put in and how smartly they use it.

So you should always consider what you're asking, and who you're asking it of.

Instead of asking a woman out directly, start by tuning into her favorite radio station, yes WII-FM. What's In It For Me?

That's what she's always asking. What's in it for me? Remember, people don't want to be around you solely because you're a great person. They're around you because you benefit them in some way. They like your looks, or your personality, or ... your money, or advice, or something. They are with you because of what's in it for them. And you hang out with them for the same reasons. It's not selfish, it's just the way people are. And since you probably don't have the resources necessary to change this rule why not simply get around it?

Here's a better way of asking that pretty brunet out for a date:

"Hey, you know, I heard there's going to be a really great sale on CD's over at (Insert Name Here). I'm going down there this weekend, and i know you'll love their selection. They've also got a great coffee place next door. Would you like to meet me there on Saturday or Sunday?"

Let's break that down.

First of all, he pointed out benefits: a sale at the store, great selection, she'll like their stuff, great coffee place. All the things that make her think "Yes! Yes!" Second, he didn't ask her a question that is easy to deny. He gave her a choice: "Would you like to meet me there on Saturday or Sunday?" She now has to go out of her way to turn him down. She's got to make herself more uncomfortable if she feels she has to say no. And, he's also given her a choice that is Yes or Yes, not Yes or No.

And third, he made a very low-key offer to her. It wasn't a scary dinner date with a movie afterwards where they sit in the dark and hope there's not embarrassing sex scenes. He made it lighthearted and fun.

smart, huh?